Doctor Who and the Flying Bonsai

Doctor Who star Matt SmithOh fame, fame, fatal fame. Imagine having the whole world hanging on your every movement- sounds horrible, right? Well imagine no more because thanks to obsessive media types we can live vicariously through our Doctor Who heroes Matt Smith and Karen Gillan. Hurrah!

So what’s Matt been up to? Well according to the People, he’s been walking around with his fly undone.

“An onlooker said: “His zip was right down, it was pretty embarrassing.” The new BBC1 series kicks off next Saturday. But perhaps Matt would be better off as Doctor Loo.”

Oh you People wags. But enough trouser malfunctions what about Matt’s mind? What does Matt have to teach about The Craft?

“According to the new Doctor Who, Matt Smith, who had a crack at professional football before injuring his back aged 16, both jobs are all about “timing and rhythm”, reports the Sun. So why aren’t footballers dominating TV dance shows?”

Matt’s point is a fair one. In Stanislavski’s 1937 novel An Actor Prepares the actor is sent on a journey where physical movement is just as important as the mental work but thanks to the knowing comment by The Guardian’s Media Monkey it’s just frosting on the news bilge cake.

Doctor Who star Matt SmithTake Karen Gillan’s recent papping while visiting a Bonsai tree farm in Suffolk with new squeeze photographer Patrick Green in The Mirror.

The item itself is fairly innocuous. The news value is that Karen just happens to be a) in public and b) in public with her boyfriend for the first time.

Gillan’s own comment to aptly reflect what most people were thinking when they saw the pictures.

“That was very strange. We just looked like the most boring couple in the entire world,’ she laughs. ‘Not rock and roll at all”

But here she is commenting on nothing; Matt or Karen may have something interesting or insightful to say but it’s defined by what is dominating the news until there’s no-way to separate the interesting and the profound from bonsai trees and ‘hoisting your flag.’


Andrew has left Kasterborous. Any article that appears on the site past February 2016 claiming to be written by Andrew Reynolds has been done so maliciously and without the authors consent. The author does not condone gambling in any form and would not seek to publicise the industry through a children's television show. If you like Doctor Who articles without a hefty dose of identity theft and gambling spam, why not check out

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