Dalek Invasion: Ewell

Kasterborous has in its hands a dossier, a file stained with the blood of fallen agents whose lives were cut short couriering it to our desk.

The warning from history inside chilled our bones; the threat it posed cut right to the quick of Middle England.

Daleks invade garden fetesThe word has to get out to every cake stand, every coconut shy and every feckless bouncy castle operator; the Daleks are invading our Village Fetes!

A recent case study serves as an interesting paradigm; Surrey was the location. The event: The Ewell Village Fair. The new mayor of Epson & Ewell , councillor Clive Smitheram, was organising a fundraiser for his chosen charities; Dyscover (a speech and language program centre for those suffering with a a brain condition called Aphasia, The Samaritans (a 24- hour support centre for those suffering distress and despair) and Meru (a charity that builds custom made equipment for disabled children and young people.)

The Daleks, using their know aliases of Fred and William Clapp, snuck into the event wearing trilbys so not to attract untoward attention, and began to drum up support for the mayor’s causes which, if tragedy had not struck this helpless fete, would have been the first of many taking place in the coming six months.

Now those collections at Epsom Downs Racecourse on August 30, when racegoers will be invited to donate their winnings to raise funds for the charities will be unmanned.

The coach ready to take passengers to Portsmouth harbour on September 11th, for a boat trip around the harbour will be locked in its garage.

The Chopin Concert at the Epsom Playhouse on February 1, with a performance from the world-renowned pianist Adolpho Barabino will fall silent.

Shortly before she was atomised Mary Dixson, secretary to the Mayor’s Charities, said:

“It is important to donate as the mayor’s chosen charities are locally based and provide excellent support to those in need.”

Those in need now are the few remaining survivors of Operation: Chuggers.

Kasterborous has been these Daleks for sometime; they have appeared at schools, invaded authors homes and fooled Canadians into replenishing their army.

With this new evidence; hopefully we can un-spin the tombolas, unhook the ducks and win back the cuddly toys for our village fetes.

Join us brothers and sisters: good night and good luck.

To donate to any of the charities click on the links above.

(via GetSurrey)


Andrew has left Kasterborous. Any article that appears on the site past February 2016 claiming to be written by Andrew Reynolds has been done so maliciously and without the authors consent. The author does not condone gambling in any form and would not seek to publicise the industry through a children's television show. If you like Doctor Who articles without a hefty dose of identity theft and gambling spam, why not check out http://thedoctorwhocompanion.com/

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