Sound the alarms!Â Everyone evacuate the internet!Â The Doctor Who Appreciation Society has placed the Whoniverse under siege with a brand-new and highly-trained army of historical documents in their original formats!
On Saturday, 12 February, the longest-running Doctor Who fan club known to many as simply DWAS, so infamous that they’re wanted on seven planets for having the nerve to protest the show’s cancellation in 1989, ambushed dozens of New Whovians who deny the existence of any Doctor aside from David Tennant with an infantry of interviews from the olden days, including Ian Scoones in 1980, John Wiles in 1981, Peter Moffatt in 1983, and Verity Lambert in 2005, among others.
The Society has this weekend unleashed a second wave of dated documents to back up the interviews and further intrigue Whovians who are into that sort of thing.Â These include both pamphlets from conventions in the early 80s and courteous handwritten letters from behind-the-scenes individuals (such as John Nathan-Turner) apologizing for being unable to attend said conventions.
Brace yourself for further updates to come, which are believed to consist of fictional newspaper articles, reference publications, and something about the Doctor’s changing faces.
If this villainous army, code-named “The Celestial Archive” succeeds, we may forever be forced to live with the loss of those closed-minded individuals who use ‘classic series’ and ‘rubbish’ in the same sentence.Â If you ever encounter an archived artifact, don’t trust it, and don’t follow any links that will lead you into its death-trap.Â That is all.