One-Third Agrees: Time Travel is Real!

Have you ever dreamed of soaring through time and space with the Doctor and visiting all your favorite moments in history?  You’re reading a Kasterborous article; of course you have!

An article in the Queensland Times (for all you thirty-year-olds who are still in primary school because you keep failing geography, this is an Australian paper, oddly enough) has revealed that 30% of 3000 (for all you thirty-year-olds who are still in primary school because you keep failing maths, that’s 900) people surveyed across the UK believe in the extremely truthful fact that time travel is possible and that a TARDIS is just a few scientific advances away (for all you thirty-year-olds who are still in primary school because you keep failing Doctor Who class, go back to your EastEnders fan site).

We’re going to repeat most of what we’ve just told you in this quote from the Queensland Times article, because we’ve got a bone to pick with them:

“A survey of 3000 people published on Friday has revealed 30 per cent of adults across the UK mistakenly believe time travel is possible and not confined to the realms of fictional films or television.”

Now wait just a minute (and then time travel one minute into the future to further prove our point) – did they just say “mistakenly”?  Is it WRONG to believe in the Hollywood-proven concepts that a couple of minor adjustments to the wiring of a phone booth or a DeLorean can send you anywhen?

Doctor Who is apparently to blame for all this truth-spreading:

“The research, commissioned by Birmingham Science City, suggests programs such as Doctor Who and Ashes to Ashes may have had a hand in the blurring of lines between science fiction and science fact.”

What lines?  I ain’t seein’ no lines!

Admittedly, this 30% could be the same one-third of Britons who are prone to stand on top of tall buildings when activated by the Sycorax, but can’t A+ blood types have feelings too?

Other surveyed beliefs (that are also true) included human-memory-wiping technology (44%), hoverboards (44%), teleportation (24%), and lightsabers (22%).

Many of the non-believers were asked to indicate which technology they didn’t believe in that they would most like to see made possible.  21% of men desired time travel while 19% thought teleportation would be pretty cool.  The fusion of the two ideas would more or less make a TARDIS.  Meanwhile, 26% of women wanted a universal cure for all diseases (yawn).  Now, really, ladies.  Think about it.  If time travel existed, we could just hop over to the distant future, when such a cure has already been devised, and bring that information back to the present day!  Time machines are much more useful.

Make sure you participate in a similar poll at the Queensland Times and indicate your belief in the truth of time travel!

Patrick Riley


Patrick has just been murdered and is currently seated on the edge of a lawn chair wondering when this Missy person will stop demanding his autograph. He probably can't tweet from the grave, but you should follow him anyway @10PatrickRiley.

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