Steven Moffat Hates You

Look at those eyes; he’s disgusted in you. Are you the sort of person who likes to attend press screenings of Doctor Who and then post the entire plots of any episodes you see weeks in advance?  Do you like to make sure all your friends on the web are aware of all the stories’ surprises before they’re broadcast?  Do you like to call yourself a Doctor Who fan?

If your answer to all three of those questions is yes, then yes, Steven Moffat hates you.

Speaking to BBC Radio 5, the head writer of the best show in the universe recently made some angry but perfectly valid attacks on those spoilerphiles out there who not only continuously disregard River Song’s famous warnings, but ensure that everyone around them is aware of the future twists and shocks they can scrape together, whether everyone around them likes it or not.

“Stories depend on shocking people.  Stories are the moments that you didn’t see coming, that are what live in you and burn in you forever.  If you are denied those, it’s vandalism.”

If you, dear reader, are one of those vandals, the Grand Moff has banished you from the Whovian community forever:

“You can imagine how much I hate them.  It’s only fans who do this, or they call themselves fans.  I wish they could go and be fans of something else.”

That’s right, spoiler-spreaders.  You’re not wanted here.  Get out of the Whoniverse and go watch Don’t Scare the Hare.

All this Moff-angst is being triggered by the posting of a full synopsis of The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon online prior to their broadcast after one such “fan” attended the premiere screening.  Moffat’s opinion of this particular individual:

“I just hope that guy never watches my show again, because that’s a horrific thing to do.”

Just to be clear: we know plenty of people, whether enthusiastic about Doctor Who or something else, who prefer being spoiled because they hate surprises.  If that description fits you, please don’t leave the fandom; it’s your choice if you want to know what happens in advance.  But if you choose that path, please don’t ruin it for everyone else.  If you do, then it’s perfectly okay with us if you pack your bags and fall out of our TARDIS.

Hear Moffat’s rant for yourself and view commentary from the BBC’s Colin Paterson and Doctor Who Magazine writer Benjamin Cook below…

Patrick Riley


Patrick has just been murdered and is currently seated on the edge of a lawn chair wondering when this Missy person will stop demanding his autograph. He probably can't tweet from the grave, but you should follow him anyway @10PatrickRiley.

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