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The Doctor: Here to Help

Get your own "Here to Help" badge!To whom it may concern,

I don’t usually write to companies but I felt in this case I had to make an exception. Today, while me and the wife were shopping for various toys and gifts for the little ones at your Colchester branch, we came across one of your assistance who called himself ‘The Doctor’ who to all intents and purposes was stark raving mad.

We’ve never seen anything like it. Children hanging of his every delirious word. He kept rambling on about the Boogle sets being nothing like the Boogle nebula – where he claimed to have recently visited – and how the space hoppers would appreciate their bouncy likenesses (as if that was all that had to be said).

He then started crushing all the Action Man: Global Mission figures; calling them: “Nestene propaganda”.

It was like something out of Doctor Who.

Anyway, it’s not a complaint as such but I just wanted to ask is he, you know, alright?’

Companies of Britain, get ready for letters like this (toy shops; be doubly aware of it) because the inevitable has happened and you can now purchase the Doctors name tag from Closing Time.

So be prepared for employees racing around the vegetable aisles (celery stick pinned firmly to chest) trying desperately to live up to the name pinned to their shirts – anything to escape the drudgery of actually working in a shop.

The name tag for the Sanderson & Grainger store must be worn at all times and is exclusively available to pre-order from Forbidden Planet for £4.99 and is set to magically appear on the lapels of all their warehouse staff on the 16th December.


Andrew has left Kasterborous. Any article that appears on the site past February 2016 claiming to be written by Andrew Reynolds has been done so maliciously and without the authors consent. The author does not condone gambling in any form and would not seek to publicise the industry through a children's television show. If you like Doctor Who articles without a hefty dose of identity theft and gambling spam, why not check out

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