The Valeyard Judges A Town Called Mercy

It’s that time of the week yet again, dear reader. I fact that I am completely unaware of as I complete some much needed repairs on my TARDIS Time Column. I am in the process of refilling my fluid links when I hear Lord Stormageddon cough gently in an attempt to gain my attention.

The Valeyard regularly posts at“It’s that time of the week again, Sir.” I believe I just said that myself.

“Can you not record it, Alfred? I’m at quite a delicate stage of the refill process.” I’m exaggerating, but I’m loath to leave this particular task unfinished just to keep Cawley happy.

“I would heartily recommend you viewing just now, Sir.” How does he manage to sound so accommodating yet threatening at the same time? “Derek has prepared a Hot Chocolate Fudge for you and I have taken the liberty of preparing a bowl of your corn snack of choice.” He does, however, make a rather convincing argument.

Within a few moments Lord Stormageddon is vindicated in his insistence that I viewed this immediately. The episode opens with an execution and sets the tone for what is to come nicely. Darkness and death never really go out of fashion.

Eventually my floppy haired counterpart makes his entrance and at first I do believe the inhabitant’s reaction to him is down purely to his condescending take on their lifestyle, but it transpires that they’re merely attempting to sacrifice him to save their own lives. He’s saved at the last moment by a man who looks, and acts, like an astronaut I once encountered whilst exploring wormholes. But I’m sure that’s just a coincidence.

It would appear that last week’s borderline execution was far from a one off; the young fool quite happily marches Jex across the town line so that he can be executed and when the other Doctor tries to re-enter the town bounds I actually pull a gun on him.

I can’t quite believe it. I used to indulge in the occasional bout of genocide, have orchestrated blood soaked revolutions and have plunged whole worlds into war, but I don’t ever recall pulling a gun on anyone during my current incarnation. How barbaric.

Sadly though his conscience gets the better of him, even if it does have to be poked severely by Pond to do so. Well that and the Marshall sacrificing himself for no other reason than to progress the episode. I wish I could cross time streams and tell him that his conscience will get much easier to ignore in the future, but you shouldn’t re-write time and all that nonsense.

All in all I’m enjoying re-watching my descent into darkness. I’m quite looking forward to seeing just where I go next as it was so long ago from my point of view that I’ve forgotten a great deal of the details. If only the same thing could be said for Miss Pond. Still: not long to go now.

We have yet to see the tip of the ice berg and things are set to get an awful lot darker before they get lighter.

Actually; no they’re not. I’m lying. This is very much a one way ticket.

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